Marriage is a significant institution so yelling as an activity or behavior is overall damaging for marriage. When a friend of mine called me late in the night and broke down saying “my husband yells at me”, I was shocked and flabbergasted.
I wanted to help her but did not know how at that time! At that time, I was too young and the term yelling for me was what I had with my best friend or my mother. Marriage is a different ball game together especially when two people involved are very different from each other.
Over the years, I have however, developed an understanding of the situation and tried to highlight the red flags in a marriage. In this article, you will read about the reasons due to which your husband might yell at you regularly.
11 Reasons Why My Husband Yells At Me And What To Do!
It is quite normal to get traumatized from the negative behavior of your husband! Yelling is one such act that not only impacts the mental health of couples but also their relationship for the worse. The negative impact of yelling leads to broken communication!
Other psychological issues such as stress, depression, Post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety also increase with yelling. I understand how it feels to walk on eggshells around your husband especially when yelling is common for him.
I am gonna list down 12 reasons due to which your man might be yelling at you! Furthermore, I will also share some ways in which you can deal with it effectively.
He Is Under Stress
Stress is an integral part of why your husband might yell at you considering it impacts his conditions, both physical and mental state. Stress can be for different reasons such as financial issues, family problems, work or lack of intimacy.
So these issues can clearly impact your husband’s mood hence, instead of expressing his problems calmly, he bursted out! This is definitely out of anger so what is the way you can deal with this issue?
Firstly, you have to stay calm. Then you have to actively listen to his concerns and accordingly respond! Supporting each other is an important strategy!
Your Husband Is A short Tempered
Different individuals have different levels of temper and maybe your husband is one of those who have such a short temper. Yelling can be a common approach for a man who is short tempered which leads to frequent bursting out and exploding with all his emotions and anger!
This can be clearly intimidating for you so what you need to know is how to deal with it! Discuss with him about his short temper even though it is a touchy subject. Even with angry outbursts, he should be told what he is doing is wrong.
Your Partner Is Mostly Frustrated
Your husband might be frustrated, be it for workplace concerns or private matters! Yelling has become natural for him which you need to address because it will negatively impact your marriage. You must try to communicate with him by actively listening to him.
For Him, Yelling Is A Common Pattern
Childhood patterns are also a reason due to which your husband might have a habit of yelling! He might have seen yelling in his family when he was a child. He has seen his parents yell or belittle each other along with disrespecting each other.
So, yelling for him might seem like a common pattern! As a wife, it is your responsibility to explain it to him that yelling is not right. It is important to break negative childhood patterns so you should provide therapy, effort and attention.
The Man Cannot Communicate Properly
As a husband, it is important to interact effectively with your partner! If you are seeing that your husband is unable to share or talk about his perspective, you need to talk about it. When he is yelling at you, you have to understand that he might be taught about holding back his feelings.
Compromise, management of disagreement and transparent communication are important parts of marriage. So if you feel that your man is constantly yelling, you should seek marriage and relationship therapy.
He Is An Insecure Man
Insecurity is another reason due to which your husband might be yelling at you! For some stereotypical gender roles, husbands at a certain point can feel insecure. If he is unable to perform the stereotypical role such as being a husband or a father, he becomes aggressive!
Yelling is a form for your husband to prove himself more powerful or authoritative. What you need to do is communicate effectively. You have to talk to your husband by reminding him about your partnership and respect in your relationship!
Your Husband Lacks Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is a need for every individual for their own mental health and well being. But if your husband is constantly yelling at you, clearly he might have a lack of emotional regulation! The context for arguments can be anything but yelling is not something that you should entertain.
The disappointment, sadness, frustration and insecurity are all outcomes of the lack of emotional regulation. It is important for you to ask your man why he is upset or mad so that you can address the issues better.
Your Partner Feels Threatened
Men are often taught from childhood that they have to behave a certain way! Yelling can be a byproduct of feeling threatened so competency is an important part of his character. You have to understand why he is responding so aggressively!
Try to read his attitude and behavior pattern so that you can identify why he is feeling defensive. What you need to do is reassure your partner thus, sharing values and importance. Instead of criticizing him, you should become empathetic.
At Times, He Might Be Doing Substance Abuse
Drugs and alcohol abuse can impact an individual’s behavior! If you are noticing that your husband is regularly yelling at you even if the topic is quite small, there might be a possibility of substance abuse. Aggressive and reactionary approach from your husband can be a reason for his yelling.
You have to become accountable for both you and your husband. You need to check him into counseling and rehab. Viciousness and volatility must not be tolerated instead you should consider his safety.
He Suffers From Mental Health Issues
Mental health issues such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, PTSF, borderline personality disorder and depession of your husband might lead to yelling. He is having angry outbursts, rage, fits, mood swings and intense emotional highs and lows.
What you have to remember is there are possible treatments available through medication, therapy and couselling! Healing is the significant step towards relationship growth.
Misogyny Is Deep Rooted In Him
Deep-rooted misogynistic perspectives and attitudes in men feel the need to shout, degrade, control and dictate their wives. They believe in maintaining order by yelling at their wives.
Wonder what to do with the concern, my husband yells at me? You won’t be able to have a rational conversation so you must tell him about his unhealthy behavior and take a step back!
Finishing Off…
What do you think about the reasons due to which my husband yells at me? Ever wonder about resolving these reasons and how they have a higher risk of influencing your marriage? After you read the article, you will realize how significantly important it is to highlight yelling as a problem.
Furthermore, disruptive behavior should be treated from both sides so that if you are involved in such a relationship, you should address it.
Comment on what you think about how to calm your husband and have a successful marriage!
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