Nothing says romance quite like polar vortex winds, angry shoppers and garish lights everywhere. But all kidding aside, dating is a popular pastime over the winter, especially the holidays. Whether it’s because people become acutely aware of their loneliness around the holidays, or the social angle of the entire season pushes people to try and meet others – it’s hard to tell.
What’s for sure is that it can generate a lot of anxiety in people. More often than not nowadays people are meeting online or on apps, which means that the first date is the first time they actually physically meet. It’s not like they hung around with your friends for awhile, so you got to know them before moving to a romantic context. For that reason, it’s important to know how to break the ice this winter (not literally, of course, because that would be devastating), so here are 4 easy tips.
Pick An Activity
Going the conventional route, where you stare at each other from either side of a bar or restaurant table isn’t always the best way to go. It’s much easier when you’re both engaged in an activity, that way, should a silent moment naturally arise, you can simply divert your attention to the activity, as normal. Try something bold – axe throwing is fun and easy for a first date, and since you have to learn the skill together, it’s a good way to create a bond.
Use “The Benjamin Franklin”
No, this is not saying you should give your date a $100 bill. The Benjamin Franking Effect is where you ask someone to do a small favor for you, whether it’s going to get you a drink at the bar or to hold your coat for a moment. This, along with a readiness to do favors for them, creates a sense of camaraderie and closeness at the source. Actions often inform opinions, and not the other way around, so starting with mutually warm actions will net a more favorable opinion. Don’t push it too far though – if the date already isn’t going well and you ask them to buy you a drink, they might just tell you to go away.
Keep It Short And Sweet
Unless you’re really hitting it off, the best policy is to keep a first date short. You want to build momentum, build an atmosphere where positive emotions can brew naturally over time, like afine ale. Prolong a first date and you risk things fizzling out before they get off the ground. And, when you do keep it short, do as the comedians do: leave on a high note!
Honesty Is The Best Policy
There’s nothing quite as disarming as being frank and forthright with someone; aside from showing integrity, it also shows a load of self-confidence. This is who you are, and you’re not ashamed of it. Aside from that, it’s just the best way to go in case the relationship forms into anything serious. Starting on a foundation of candidness and truthfulness will help you avoid hiccups further down the road.
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