Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, Police Force, Firefighters, veterans, it doesn’t matter which branch you are in, you know that relationships are hard work if you serve. Let’s face it, relationships, and finding that special someone to share your life with, is hard enough even when you don’t have this huge part of your life that people may not understand.
Being in the service isn’t like having a partner who is super obsessed about Football, it’s having a partner who has a whole world view that unless you’ve been there and done that can be hard to fathom. Which is why specialist dating sites have become popular options for military personnel, simply to make it easier to find that person who gets it. There are a surprising number of dedicated dating sites, so rather than sign up for them all have a look at a review site like Best Military Dating Sites – find your match to find the pros and cons for the different niche sites.
Although military dating sites are going to help you find a person who understands, it’s surprising how many men and women who serve will try and go it alone first. It can take several really dreadful dating experiences before they finally see were the problems might be. Honestly, it’s not you, it’s them. Ok, it’s a little bit of you, but mainly them.
Dating Within the Services:
Being in a relationship with someone in the service means that although your partner knows what you’re going through, they are potentially competing for the same jobs, running the same risks and then there are the decisions you both need to make if you are ordered to move. And that’s without the usual problems found when you are trying to date someone from your workplace.
It may seem strange to outsiders, but these things tend to run in families. If you talk to a lot of police, army, marines, etc., you will find a lot of them joined up to serve because at least one of their parents served, and their grandparents, and possibly someone in their family was in the first local branch way back when. What this legacy means is that if you both break up, chances are high that you are going to be copping some grief from higher up the chain of command than you were anticipating.
If you decide to stay away from anyone in the service and try and find your perfect match amongst the civilian population, you have a whole range of other problems that can crop up. Are they going to be so worried about you that they are on your case to change jobs, are they going to fit in with the very definite culture that comes with each branch? How about travel, do they want to? Are they happy to move when you do? What about jealousy (like this)? Are they going to be ok with you spending a lot of time with attractive service men and women? Are they going to be ok when you spend time away with these same people?
For most civilians their jobs are set, they go to work, do the job, come home and forget about it. Sure, they might stress about an aspect, use their partner as a sounding board for ideas, or moan about a colleague, but being in the services is more than a job, it truly is a way of life. And this is one of the hardest things for civilians to handle when they start dating someone who is in any one of the services. Whether you’re military, enforcement or protection, there is a very defined culture that can sometimes leave outsiders feeling like they truly are outsiders.
All of this is assuming that you are in a position where you can share aspects of your day. Many positions and much of the work that is done within the military is not for public gossip. Sensitive information is not something you can bring home to your spouse. So, they need to be ok with not knowing every aspect of your life. Sometimes they will need to be ok with not actually knowing where you are or have any idea of when you will be back. Are they the sort of person that can handle this and still welcome you back like you had never left? Honestly, this is not something everyone can handle, and it is better to try and clear it up early on rather than once you have fallen deeply in love.
Is This True Love?
Let’s jump ahead, you’ve joined up on a military dating site, you’ve found someone who is just amazing, and you want to make it public, live together, if not quite get married, but you’re certainly leaning that way.
If you are in the armed services, you will, unfortunately, find that there are many hoops and regulations you will need to jump through before you are allowed to have your unmarried partner living with you. https://marriedtothearmy.com/just-an-army-girlfriend-dating-a-soldier/
However, that doesn’t need to stop you from dating and falling in love. It may seem a little old fashioned, but you actually don’t have to live with someone before marriage. And if they are able to set up an apartment close to the base where you are stationed, it provides an opportunity for a much-needed real-world evaluation of your relationship.
Try to introduce them to other military spouses so that they have people who understand what they are going through when you are deployed. These people will become their family just as the army has become yours, so knowing that they are happy and comfortable early on can help make the relationship grow so much stronger.
However, it’s hard to avoid gossip, and no one gossips quite like the military, at least about things that they’re allowed to. Everyone will have an opinion on your relationship, and that’s ok, it’s up to you to weather the storm and decide if you have found you’re happy ever after.